“And now I have to stop. Because every time I remember this, I have to cry a little by myself. I don’t know why something that made me so happy then feels so sad now. Maybe that is the way it is with the best memories.” - Amy Tan.

what's broken can always be fixed. what's fixed will always be broken.

you turned me into a bitch. i said things i didn’t mean, i did things i didn’t want to do, i didn’t do things i did want to do, and i didn’t say the things i should’ve all because of you, because i was afraid of what you would do to me if i didn’t do everything you wanted. you tried changing me into someone i wasn’t. and i wish i would’ve stood up for myself and said no, but i didn’t. i can’t take anything back, i can’t rewind and redo everything. i can’t make change the past. but i can assure you, that i will never let anyone manipulate me like you did, in the future. 

touching him is like realizing all you ever wanted was right in front of you.

“You’re really good at not letting people love you.”

“I learned to make things not matter, to put a seal on my hopes and place them on a high shelf, out of reach. And by telling myself that there was nothing inside those hopes anyway, I avoided the wounds of deep disappointment. The pain was no worse than the quick sting of a booster shot. And yet thinking about this makes me ache again. How is it that as a child I knew I should have been loved more? Is everyone born with a bottomless emotional resevoir?” - Amy Tan.

“what doesn’t kill you
leaves scars
ruins your lungs
dries out all your tears
leaves you lying awake at 4 in the morning
wishing you weren’t alive” - c.c

“When I am with you, there is nowhere else I’d rather be. And I am a person who always wants to be somewhere else.” - David Levithan.

the worst part about being sad is that you don't know what makes you happy anymore.

“you haven’t healed, i can tell from how cruel you are.”

its sucks pretending things are okay

because they’re not.

i can’t fucking do this alone, but thanks to you, i don’t have any other choice.

“All relationships are doomed. If you emotionally undress in front of someone, they will pour acid on your shivering skin and leave you to die.” - Howard, Fresh Meat.

I don’t believe everything happens for a specific reason. Sometimes things just happen without explanation. If you don’t care you’ll be fine.

“I know what it’s like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can’t. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside.” - Girl, Interrupted.

I don’t mind being alone, I just hate feeling alone

“you haven’t healed, i can tell from how cruel you are.” - via (fakeville)

“Most days I wish I never met you because then I could sleep at night and I wouldn’t have to walk around with the knowledge there was someone like you out there.” - Goodwill Hunting (1997)

so many things remind me of you.

to lose that person though who meant so damn much to you the first thing you feel is the emptiness of where they were. you realize exactly how much they'd meant to you, and theres no one and nothing that can fill it. just the memories of them that come and go as they please through your body taking residency in your mind and heart.--wishfullthinkerx.

part of me wants to be seven and careless.
part of me wants to be back in your bed.
part of me wants to be forty and settled.
part of me wants to be dead.

i poured everything i had into you and you were still empty.

it’s not that i got tired of you. it’s that i got tired of waiting. i got tired of being treated poorly. i got tired of getting my hopes up and then getting disappointed. i got tired of not being able to trust you. i got tired of feeling like i wasn’t good enough. i got tired of the games. i got tired of the second-thoughts. i got tired of getting tired.

"the marks humans leave too often are scars."

 "i know I should’ve moved on ages ago, been happy already, but it’s never been that easy for me. Or maybe it was me that made it so hard."

if you would have told me a year ago or even 5 months ago that i would be in the place that i am today i wouldn't believe you. i have the most incredible boyfriend who i fall harder for everytime i'm with him and he is good to me and actually gives a fuck. i'm in school and doing well. i just got into md a few hours ago and cannot wait to spend time with my friends and family. and i turn 21 next saturday wooooo. anyways, heres a post i had such an urge to update tonight, i love how it turned out :) 

honestly if i ever date again it will be simply to get pretty jewelry and clothes and a michael kors watch because i lost the only person i could ever love so i might as well be a gold-digging sugar baby.

i hate complaining about this. i feel like a pussy. but i seriously just don’t know what to do. i keep thinking and thinking and crying and worrying and hurting and then thinking about other things that aren’t going well in my life  and they relate back to you because i can’t even talk to you about them. i’m back on my own. back to being lied to by everyone. back to people trying to use me. back to not knowing where to go from here. and it sucks. because i just want you happy. i know you think im selfish. and i guess i might be. but this is the hardest thing i’ve ever had to do and its equally as selfless. no one will ever understand. not even you. hell, half the time, not even me. i guess my best bet is just to wait and maybe one day you’ll show up at my doorstep and rescue me. 

Pat: "I hate my illness and I want to control it. This is what I believe to be true: You have to do everything you can and if you stay positive you have a shot at a silver lining." - Silver Lining Playbook.

you are a ghost to me. i don't look at you anymore but i still feel you. i feel you.

i think part of the reason why we hold on to something so tight is because we fear something so great won't happen twice.

“I’m not sure which is worse: intense feeling, or the absence of it.” - Margaret Atwood (The Blind Assassin)

“Most days I wish I never met you because then I could sleep at night and I wouldn’t have to walk around with the knowledge there was someone like you out there.” - Good Will Hunting.

when i look at you i see this perfect person then there's me, this weird crazy person with all these problems. And i don't see how you choose me..but please, just stay.

and for the first time...what's past is past.

“I missed him so much that I had physical sensations of loss, all over my body. Like one minute I was missing an arm, the next my spleen. It was making me feel sick, like throwing up.” - Augusten Burroughs, Running with Scissors

how your body still remembers things you told it to forget..

"i'm pretty sure if i hadn't met you i'd have spent all my time looking for you with out knowing it. you're everything i could ever dream of wanting." - my boyfriend :)